


Rooted

by BigStripeyLie



Category: Evil Dead (Movies)
Genre: Bad Puns, Other, Talking Trees, Tentacles, Tree Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:14:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8888704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigStripeyLie/pseuds/BigStripeyLie
Summary: Ash meets something in the forest, and that something's got wood.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kutsushita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kutsushita/gifts).



As Ash crept through the forest, he could sense something was close. He steeled his nerves and kept moving. 

Something was watching him. Something, slimy, nasty, and very horny. Ghastly eyes followed him, gnarly limbs tracked him. Waiting. Just waiting.

As he stepped over a felled log, a vine shot out and entangled a leg, then the other, making him lose his balance. “What the freaking freak?”

The vine tugged and he fell flat on his face, slender vines quickly entwining his wrists. Ash struggled to twist round, trying to see his attacker, only seeing the creepy trees surrounding him.

  


“Hey! Knock it off!” Ash yelled as he tried to pull himself away from the tangled mess he was in. As he pulled away, the vines pulled back, releasing something nauseatingly slimy. Ash thought he could use the lubrication to slip out of his bonds, but the vines held fast with tiny suckers starting to – well – suck, clinging onto his wrists and ankles.

“Gnahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What is this slimefest?” Ash snarled, trying not to breathe in the stench.

As he struggled and twisted, he felt yet another damned vine slide up his leg. “Oh, come on!” The vine nestled itself between Ash's butt cheeks and started to rub. A few more slender vines decided to join in the fun.

“Hey, the butt's not for rubbing, okay?” Ash demanded, realizing just how utterly insane his words sounded. 

  


Seemingly chastized by his words, the vines began to move away, his relief short-lived as they nestled against his crotch, with a few more slithering down inside his jeans. He felt a tearing sound as the vines inflated, rending his briefs, and ripping through his jeans. 

“The fuck? What sort of freak are you? Oh shit!” Ash began to moan as the vines started to really go for his balls, rubbing and tugging like mad. The sap warmed his balls, and he felt his cock get hard. The vines sucked onto his cock and he groaned, deeply and horribly aroused.

More vines came and tugged at his jacket, then his shirt. The different fabrics presenting little challenge to the vines. “That was my favourite jacket, you freak pervert,” Ash yelled, straining to confront his attacker.

Then his shoes and socks came off and the tickling started, interspersed with tiny electric shocks. “Oh. Fuck. Off! Ahh! No! No, damn it,” Ash writhed as he dissolved into giggles, managing to twist enough enough to see what the hell his attacker was.

  


It was a withered old Deadite Tree, the skin looking roughed up and dark like bark. It had no actual feet, instead supporting itself on a mass tangle of roots. In place of fur was leaves, and the eyes and mouth were filled with a green light. It was big as a brick shit-house and seemed to smirk at him. The tentacle-like vines sprouted out of its body. Curiously, he noted that the ones securing his arms and legs were coming from its head, but the slimy ones – well, fuck. The Deadite Tree basically had tentacle cocks, and they were coming right for him.  
“I should introduce you to my friends,” it spoke, surprising him.  
“Uh, no, thanks,” he growled, his voice shaky from his feet being rubbed. Ash's cock throbbed madly due to the stimulation, getting steadily harder from it all.  
The large tree-beast giggled in amusement, amidst moans of its own. “No, you'd be really poplar with my friends.”  
“The fuck, is that a pun?” Ash moaned.

The Deadite Tree shoved a tendril inside Ash's urethra and he came due to the sensation, his fingers clenched in the dirt, howling as a slimy dick vine wrapped around the base of his cock, slime and jism mingling together.  
But it didn’t stop the electrical impulses from bombarding his body.  
“Aww, fuck me…” he grumbled. Then a slimy tentacle started doing exactly that, gently pounding in and out of his ass while the others rubbed over his ass. “Unnnnnnn! Damnit, buy a guy dinner first!” 

The tree flipped Ash over and lifted him high up, still pounding his ass, with electric pleasure, wrapping another tendril around his cock, its suckers swallowing his balls totally.

  


“Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhh! What. The. Hell?” Ash's speech was slurred, every nerve ending overstimulated to the point of ridiculousness.  
“Oh, that? I'm just branching out, my little human,” The Deadite tree giggled. “Hey, nice plums,” the tree said as it tickled Ash's throbbing balls.  
“I swear I'm gonna chop you up for this. Then I'm gonna burn all your bits, fucking Deadite!” Ash seethed.  
“Oh really, I suppose a fire would warm you up, you're looking a bit ash- faced,” the Deadite cheerfully replied. “Speaking of bits,” the Tree tickled Ash's balls again.  
“Trust me, you'll make a lovely park bench, or maybe a hat-rack, you sonofabitch,” Ash growled. 'Why you doing this to me, anyway?”  
“Wooden you like to know?” the tree smirked.  
“Stupid puns aren't what I expected from a rapey haunted tree, ow FUCK!” Ash writhed.  
“It's just root-ine for me,” the tree replied casually. “Maybe one day I'll turn over a new leaf, it's so hard to make a deciduous.”

 

Ash groaned, both from pleasure and the pain of the tree's terrible comedy stylings.  
The tree gave him another poke, “hey, you know my cousin?”  
“No, and I don't care,” Ash muttered.  
“He's a mangrove, loves a good man-grope,” the tree laughed. “My other cousin's a mango tree, but he can make a man come, too! Hey, you get it? Aw, come on, don't be a sap!”

“I'm so sick of this,” Ash wailed.  
“Small world. My other, other cousin's a sycamore,” The Deadite Tree made a drumming motion on Ash's butt cheeks. “Nice box, buddy.”  
“Uh, thanks, now fuck off, 'kay?” Ash pushed his face into the ground.  
“That's what I'm doing, thank yew very much,” came the cheery reply. “But, seriously, you gotta meet alder friends of mine. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to respect one's elders.”

Just when Ash was wondering how long he'd be pounded by the freak-tree, the roots and vines withdrew and a voice whispered in his ear. “It's been great, hope you don't pine for me when I'm gone.”

As Ash groaned into the dirt, the Tree disappeared into the darkness.  
“That thing's gonna get chainsawed, I swear.”


End file.
